Monday, 20 March 2017

These boots were made for walking: footwear log

Went to work today hoping my cold was over while knowing it actually isn't, but the boss heard me coughing and politely but firmly suggested I had better go home. Viruses rip through this workplace like, well, like something highly contagious, so I can see the point, although there is at least one other person in another department who is infested with the same plague so even though I can see the point I also think I can only see it via some sort of mass delusion. 

It me, hello! sick/not sick
There should be a word for this: the complicated feeling when you get an unexpected half-day's liberty from the salt mines, because you are too sick to work, but you know you're going to have to find time do the work anyway so the feeling of freedom has a bit of a shadow cast over it already, plus it's time taken from your precious sick leave, which you had decided not to call upon in this instance, and then the lift to the spirits induced by escaping four hours earlier than expected makes you feel almost well again anyway. Maybe with an undertone of, oh right! now I've got this unexpected bit of time up my sleeve, I will use it to do everything I never get time to do, and in no way will I become paralysed with indecision about how to use this time and end up just sitting on the couch, writing some more nonsense to slap up onto the internet. A word for that would be moderately handy. I think I'd have occasion to use it at least three times a year, maybe more, which would make it a more useful word in my vocabulary than, say, bingo which I used yesterday for the first time ever in the twelve year and 844 posts history of this blog, or defunct, shitfight, meringue, prerogative (also just one use each) or indecipherable, talentless, goatee, pilates (no uses ever). 

Among the special class of words that I use far too often whilst knowing that I do and being exasperated myself for continuing to use them anyway (anyway, anyhow, actually, really, incredibly, why? obviously, bewildering, stupid, rubbish, ridiculous, gross, weird plus all the swear words except for cunt, which I am making a conscious effort to use as much as I can where I think I can get away with it, it needs to have the edge taken off of it, there is nothing specially apocalyptic about cunts, it would be good to see this word bandied about with the same gay abandon as dick and all of its derivatives) there is one that I will use to describe my new boots, depicted here encasing my feet which had just carried me out the door and into the free but strangely humid air of a Melbourne Monday morning: 



new boots = "awesome"

Shortly after the US election I was really horrified to read that "awesome" is a word associated with Trump because of his overuse of it, and because of what it represents about the lack of subtlety with which his mind works and in how he expresses himself. Nevertheless these boots are awesome and there is no getting away from that fact. 


Gonna lie on the couch, grinding my teeth about how on this Monday there is nobody sitting by the couch listening to me free-associate, and listen to podcasts for the rest of the afternoon. Bye!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're beautiful and intelligent. So why do you need to use foul words?

lucy tartan said...

Thanks for the compliment, I guess. It would have been less peculiar if you'd given a name

Annie ODyne said...

I wonder which word the commentor thought was foul?
In a Twitter exchange on cvnt' I added that I don't like to see the word used in a perjorative sense because cvnts do give a lot of pleasure. Well, no less than Erica Jong appeared and pressed the Like button under my Tweet.
so funny that The very same people who want their Bibles on our bodies are the ones frightened of the merest glimpse of that c word.

yeah the boots are awesomely practical comfortable useful economical and appropriate for cycling to work and then working. awesomely.

with regard to Prez 45: his 6th grade level grammar is gonna splode in his face when he meets HER MAJESTY. She expert at handling numbnuts. oh I so have popcorn for that and the aftermath.