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D's work has a function at government house next week. He asked me a while back if I wanted to go, first I thought no, then when I grasped that some of the most awesome people I know will be there, I said yes. I'm going to wear these shoes, black stockings, and a bell-sleeved shift dress I made of a piece of Italian silk, orange and bronze and black paisley it is, which I don't think I've ever actually worn before. It's all I've got that seems remotely appropriate. Last night he informed me that he and I, and the chair of the board and her partner, are required to go into a private room with the governor and her husband and make small talk with them for fifteen minutes before the other thing starts. I am very worried about this. There are so many things I would like to ask the governor - what's it like living in a big fuck-off house? Is she really as clean as she looks? If so, how? Most of all, Why does she get driven everywhere in her governorial car, instead of walking, in particular to events across the road from her big fuck-off house? I have wondered this so many times over the past year. What is it about the vice-regal role which necessitates arriving places in a car? It just seems like an unsurpassable opportunity to glean some kind of insight into how it is that the current arrangements are understood to be acceptable and fine by those who are involved in keeping them going.

When I think back to great English monarchs of history, like Henry V for instance, I sort of picture them walking places, or at worst, riding there on a horse. Not getting out of the back of a car after being driven 100m by an adult who is surely worth more as a human being than doing the job of being courtier to a remote controlled standin for the monarchy. Anyway of course I will not ask any of these questions but you may bet money that I will be trying to observe clues that might independently lead me to some answers. What I am worried about is whether I will be able to make small talk at the same time. I am not good at this under the best of circumstances.