Sunday, 22 January 2006


In fact, iFecking Dying.

Yesterday I swooned on the sofa all day, watching a patch of nuclear fire sun glare move across the tightly drawn curtains. When that got boring I turned my attention to the TV: The Karate Kid, Rome Adventure, then Punch-Drunk Love on DVD (which turned out to be a near-fatal error, because followed by broadcasts of) Billy Madison, The Bill, and Happy Gilmore. Three Adam Sandler movies in one day is a bit much for anybody. I then fell asleep on the living-room floor.

Today I need to think of something else to do. I would quite like to be cryogenically frozen - or fall into a crevice inside a glacier. But probably I'll just lie on the floor and watch movies. Think I'll start with Fargo, or maybe Twilight of the Ice Nymphs.

The stupid evil bureau of meterology say it's going to hit 43 today. Also their radar is broken, it seems - there MUST be a big cold wet storm coming. Where is it? Where?

Poor hairy Basil just lies there, suffering. I laid a row of frozen ice packs on the floor and draped a towel over them then draped the cat on top of the pile, he seemed to enjoy that for a few minutes.

Pavlov's Cat is murmuring something about the third consecutive day over 40 in Adelaide; perhap God is still punishing them for the Festival poster featuring the Virgin playing a piano accordion. She also posts the recipe for a hot day drink which sounds delicious, but there's no way I'm going out to get Buderim ginger cordial. Here's an alternate rescue drink concoction - what do you drink on hot days?


put ice cubes into a tumbler
pour over: a splash of lemon cordial (Bickford's is best)
chilled black coffee

Skoll. You can drink this in the afternoon without fear of disturbing your night's rest: there is no caffeine in cold coffee (same as there are no calories in food you didn't order yourself.)


Armaniac said...

It's incredible.

Love of my Life has for some reason agreed to go to a BBQ, A BBQ(!!) which i am in the mood for about the same way I get the impulse to tear all my clothes of when caught in a blizzard.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Best. Festival. Poster. Ever.

I made that drink recipe up all by myself. All the ingredients of yours are also in the house, so will try it at once.

41 degrees is 105.8 in old money (for those of us old enough to care), so who knows what 43 is? A few summers ago it got up to 43.7 here, and when I went outside just before dark to water the vegies, I more or less tripped over four or five ex-rainbow lorikeets, lying where they had fallen dead from the sky. But at least it meant there was something green on the ground.

R H said...

Perhap (sic) God couldn't care a rat's thing for what any of you hilariously unfunny sheep do. Have you EVER considered that?

Lucy Tartan said...

oh no, poor dead lorikeets! I saw a magpie trotting around yesterday with its beak open, it looked thirsty. A barbeque today? I'm surprised it's even legal. Though getting out of the house would be nice, I can see that.

Armaniac said...

'Twasn't so bad, we sat round in a spa! It wasn't really big enough to all get in, so we just had our legs in, but that makes lots of difference, and from time to time I'd plunge my arms int oo. Ahhh.

Zoe said...

iFecking Hot too! The husbang has just handed me a margarita, using Sauza tequila, fresh lime juice and triple sec. He rubs the lime around the rim to trap the salt - he is just saying now that the sugar in the lime juice traps and sets the salt. We tried egg white and water (over a period of some time!) and lime juice is the best.

Downside: you can't start drinking these until the sun's gone done and the kid's in bed. Upside: the most cheerful drink in universe.

In very happy news, our household has acquired a pussy cat today!!! Her name is Mischa, and she is really very lovely.

RH, you suck big ones. I normally wouldn't say that on someone's else's blog but you are quite the jerk. I shall not speak of this again, because I fear it would excite you, but I needed to say it once.

R H said...

Say something original you old bag.
Or go to Kmart, buy a plastic bucket, and stick your head in it!

R H said...

No wonder you had to acquire a pussy!

R H said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
boynton said...

Just a small tip re film viewing.
Snow stories, Arctic, Antarctic or oceanographic tales are good in this weather.
I watched the delightful "Kitchen Stories" last night - the snow was a bonus.
Am thinking of hiring 'Doctor Zhivago' for Thursady given the forecast of fecking 40...

Galaxy said...

Mary Shelley's Frankenstein is very good for a vicarious experience of snow and ice. Kenneth Branagh did a not too bad job of the arctic scenes in his adaptation... But you're probably quite up to speed on that. Speaking of Branagh, didn't I see somewhere that the ABC is repeating Shackleton in the wee hours? Might have started last night. For cold drinks, I'm a big fan of tonic water, the bubbles get rid of that glue mouth effect.

Kim said...

We came in on Karate Kid right at the end. Absolutely gutted as really, as a parent, it is my duty to introduce such high drama to my kids. Still, they got to see Ralph adopt the crane position and in doing so explain so so much to my kids as to just why mummy does that at really weird and often inappropriate times.

We are bracing ourselves for the hideous weather you guys have been enduring. I'm not looking forward to it on any level.

boynton said...

- er, Dr Zhivago or indeed Fargo...

(It was too hot to read properly ...)

Lucy Tartan said...

All right RH, you got to have your say. Now please, give it a rest. I think a reasonable amount of tolerance is extended to your views in general, which is a good thing, so it'd be nice if you could return the favour sometimes when you read something you don't like. As happens to all of us.

Watching the Karate Kid made me feel old too. I had a weird moment where I could imagine how old-fashioned and creaky it would look to a teenager. And I'd never really noticed before that Ralph Macchio was so skinny. Speaking of Ralph we passed up a chance to see him doing a one-man show off-off-off-Broadway a couple of years ago - I seem to remember it was called something like "There's More to My Life than the Karate Kid, No Really"....

Lucy Tartan said...

I took down Dr Z to read this afternoon, but only because of wishing for the movie.

Phantom Scribbler said...

We're supposed to get snow and sleet tomorrow. Shall I send you some?

R H said...

Okay, I apologise for it all.

But you're a professor. So how's this - from a 34 year-old teenager:

"RH, you suck big ones are quite a jerk"

Too many movies.

Ampersand Duck said...

My mad partner spent yesterday cooking preserves in the frigging heat. At one point I almost begged him to stop, but the sight of the bottles filled with yumminess brought me back to my senses. We just lay on the wooden floor with the fan on, panting.

Padge and Pooter send their commiserations to Baz. They, too are freaking out in their fur coats. Poor Padge, furry AND fat.

Tonic water for me, or Bickford's bitter lemon cordial with lime slices. ywiui!

Brownie said...

re RH - I always assume he is joking or prodding to get a rise outta us.
re the heat:
1. what if it never stops?
2. very funny of ABCTV to run Shackleton freezing his fingers off.
3. am addicted to Bickfords Lime also their coffee cordial added to ice cubes and milk.
4. my cats are cool on the stone floor, under the house, and one likes the bath.
5. please everybody put dishes of water on the shed roof for the birds.

Anna Winter said...

My favourite summer drink is a delicious rose petal and lime cordial, with lemonade, and - usually - vodka.

Don't know if the rose petal cordial is a local WA product, but it's worth looking for. Like drinking turkish delight!

Helen said...

Now this will cause some people to recoil in horror because the words "Stones Green Ginger wine" will be used

**Feet running away, wailing**

No, come back, this is my invention and it's OK:

Alcoholic ginger beer

Combine in a large jug in proportions decided by yourself according to your preference:

Some Stones GGW
About half and half soda water and Schweppes "traditional" lemonade (the cloudy one) (or pub squash would probably do)
Fresh mint
Lemon wedges
Lots of ice.

But, I see in the bottleshop those bastards have come out with MY IDEA. Where's my IP rights? eh? eh? If only I'd blogged this recipe.

Lucy Tartan said...

We're going to HAVE to do a cookbook (or whatever a book of drink recipes is)

It will be called Blogging While Drunk. Unless anyone can think of a better name.

Phantom yes please send snow now! It's going to be over 40 again on Thursday (so I have two days to rush out and get rosewater, ginger, and coffee cordials to drizzle over the freshly-packed New England ice crystals, mmmmmm....

snorri the goblin said...

Put vodka in fridge. Wait till it goes oily.

Remove lid from vodka.

Get in fridge. Drink vodka.

Wait for winter.

Another Outspoken Female said...

Can't wait for "Bloging while drunk", expecially the accompanying posts :)

My contribution is: Pomegranate molasses with sparkling mineral water and ice.

Or anything with vodka - especially citrus vodka with cranberry/raspberry juice.

R H said...

Get a cheap bottle of plonk and a litre of metho. Mix together in a large bowl. Float a few lemon slices on top. Then add ice, and lime to taste. But don't forget to rub lime around the rim to trap the salt. Very important. Then invite the bums next door in for a drink. Tell them it's a maragrita. They wouldn't bloody know!


Brownie said...

oh RH I recall well the days of equal parts meths and Kia-Ora Orange.

All those lovely Bickfords drinks are made by Felton B Grimwade who brought us all the Felton Bequest items at the art gallery.
Now I lust for the rosewater thanks Anna Wint(ou)r, and will be calling in favours from Fremantlians to get it.

dear Miss Tartan - Blogging While Drunk is very blunt - since we all know Miss Piss we can't have that - Wine Whine? Blog Julep? Egg Nog Blog? Expostulate via Distillate?

Just this morning I thought 'Slightly Foxed' would be lovely name for a literary blog, and will have to see if it is out there yet.

Lucy Tartan said...

Report back what you find out.

What do you think of this longer version? Drinks Drunk While Blogging While Drunk.

Thank you all for these wondrous recipes.
I too am fairly slavering over the idea of rose petal cordial, and ooh! pomegranate molasses! and I looked in the local snooty "gourmet" supermarket for Bickford's coffee cordial but no dice. They did have ginger "mixer" (much more grown-up name for it) though which is very nice indeed.

I feel pretty certain I've seen rose petal cordial in either a vietnamese grocery or perhaps an indian food place at Preston Market. Anyway I think you can get it in Victoria. Probably not the kind that's made in WA though??

R H said...

Metho and Fanta is what I know about: "Wine dog's delight".

But thanks Miss Kitty.
My career in controversy has not been star-studded. I've a lot to learn, but can't be bothered. Having to reproduce what others have said - and then shoot it down, is what trips me up. Hell of a bore. But anyway, no comment of mine in response to yours is ever a response to you. My response to you never changes. You know that.


Another Outspoken Female said...

Since linguistically we are in a phase of contractions, how about "Drogging" (drunk/blogging, the alternative would be "drugging" *cough*)?

I love ginger beer (the best I have found is in NZ) but find it more warming than cooling. The best ginger beer syrup I have found here comes from Byron Bay which I have been able to buy from the Daylesford market in the past. Ginger beer syrup + mineral/soda water +/- brandy is a great winter drink.

RH it would probably mix well with metho too.

R H said...

You'd remember the days of metho and orange cordial alright Miss Brownie.

You used to drink the stuff.