Beauty, love, narcissism - 1

According to Brainyquote, Aristotle said 'personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.'  Really??! He really said that ??? !! ?/!?? !!1. I mean, sure a lot of things make me sad these days, but the idea that people wrote references for each other in ancient Greece depresses me to an almost physically painful degree.

I don't doubt it's an accurate statement though. I'm the mother of a very beautiful child, and time and time again I've watched him win somebody over, without necessarily being charming or sweet or even doing much of anything. It's almost all about the way he looks. I know it's ridiculous for a parent to claim her own child is exceptionally good-looking (all children are beautiful, surely) and I wouldn't say it and make myself look a fool if it wasn't for the world's continual presentation of evidence of the effect his beautiful colouring, translucent skin and lovely eyes, lovely proportions and and delicate finely moulded face, have upon others.

I witnessed a very visible example of the process of Leonard's looks melting someone's heart yesterday when I took him to my hairdressers. The woman who cut his hair spent half an hour looking closely at him, while he sat still and said nothing, and at the end as he climbed down from the chair she said to me with quiet delight, her eyes shining, He's just so cute. He's adorable. He's gorgeous. I said, Yes he is. I don't know how it happened. I should sell him. She laughed, and so did Len, which was a relief because it was really a very weird thing to say out loud, and I still don't know why I said it unless it was that I was a bit giddy on the pleasure of seeing another person notice and respond to the intoxicating quality of the beauty that I see in him every day.

When I said 'I should sell him' I was thinking confusedly of hiring him out for television commercials and things of that sort, I guess I should make that clear, and also I should make it clear that I have absolutely no intention of doing anything of the kind. You see, right, it's awkward and difficult for me to talk about this subject - the way people look and the effects that their looks have on others - especially about the people who are important to me and especially about myself. Lenny's beauty is only hard to talk about because it's so powerful, not really for any other reason. He's entirely unselfconscious about his appearance, too, unlike any adult. I wanted to start on this strand of writing, which is going to continue through multiple instalments, I have a lot to say - by writing about him, because of these unique qualities to his beauty and his own relationship with it.

One of the reasons I find Leonard's beauty so affecting is that it's simple and uncomplicated and it seems to have very little to do with anything or anyone except himself. Nobody has ever said that he looks like me, and this is because he doesn't. Sometimes people say he looks like his dad, but I don't really see it. I sure don't see myself in him, but this isn't surprising to me, because I've never actually been able to grasp what I look like. (to be continued)