Thursday, 15 February 2018

Nudity and adult themes

Monday of last week my doctor had asked me if I could come to see her in the afternoon an hour earlier than usual, so that day I went to work an hour earlier than usual. Other than the police, who are there all day and all night, there's not usually anyone in the building until about 7:30am when people begin to wander in. So when one of the police knocked on the door of the women's shower and locker room, before 7:00am, and didn't wait for a response but just opened the door and walked straight in, he didn't think there'd be anyone in there, and he definitely didn't anticipate that I'd be in there, just showered and stepping into my knickers.

It's a very small room and the floor never gets cleaned and the one plastic chair you can pile your clothes on is right next to the door. He reeled out backwards like he'd just been tasered and he slammed the door shut, letting out these horrified little speech sounds, and when he found his voice out there in the corridor he said over and over again that he was sorry. After apologising for a while longer, as I got dressed, he told me why he'd come in - there were a couple of women PSOs being trained there late last year, some change of plan occurred and they didn't stay on, so he had been sent to find out whether they'd left the keys to their lockers in the locks. He was more mortified than any mortified person I've ever seen. He went on apologising until I came out. It is lucky there was not a terrorist attack just then because I don't think he could have pulled himself together. I was also quite embarrassed, I hope it goes without saying; I'm not precious about my body but I like to exercise a modicum of discretion and control over where it gets exposed and to whom, right? It's also been fairly excruciating encountering this policeman around the building, a semi-daily occurrence, since then. I mean, I can say 'good morning' or 'how are you' as the situation requires, but where to look? Where to point the eyes?? I have salvaged some shreds of dignity from the incident for myself by firstly of all not dobbing in the poor man, he's already received ample psychological torture on multiple fronts, and secondly by reflecting that it's really great that other people do stupid, stupid things that they really regret and can't think about without blushing to the roots of their hair. Although the saddest part of this story is that by the time my early afternoon appointment rolled around I had forgotten the new material and spent the whole 45 minutes crying about the same thing I cried about the week before.

Cue Benny Hill theme as the outro.

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