Saturday, 28 April 2018

Bet you can't guess where I am!

I'm in bed!!

the scene, earlier today

Steady on! I know this announcement comes very much as a surprise. Don't fall over and hurt yourself. I am always worried that I might write something which gives you such a turn that you just crumple at the knees, and oops! on the way down, your head hits the corner of the marble fireplace, or maybe the fender, whatever that is, and that will be that. I'm not responsible and I won't be held responsible. I will fight it to the highest court in the land. But this resolve comes at a cost. I have made sacrifices. I've given up trying to keep Vinnie off my bed and so he is sleeping smugly on the corner. I will not be able to put my clothing on my bed now, or sit on it or touch it while dressed. Perhaps you sneer at what seems to you a stupid, futile vanity, but bitch please, you don't know how much this cat sheds, so shut up.

There is a joke I would really like to tell you but it is too obscene even for this blog.

I'm about to pass out, so goodnight.

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