I can thank my lucky star that I'm not as smart as I like to think I are

I was almost home today when I realised I could go past Cleg's and it would still be open and I could buy a reel of green thread, and then I could pick up Lenny from school, go home, do all the evening stuff, then sew together the green skirt which has been cut out and ready to go for a long time now, and then I'd have something to wear to work tomorrow. Only problem was I didn't have a bit of the green fabric with me to colour match. Not to worry, I shouted reassuringly to myself* as I locked my bike to a pole, I have a great visual memory and I will be able to pick the right shade of green anyway.

So I did all that, and I was so extremely pleased with myself you can't possibly imagine. In the same echelon of pleasedness with self as when we got pirate doors, I would say. (I am much more easily pleased with myself these days, it would seem, I reckon that's alright? In fact I am pleased with myself for becoming a person for whom it is not such hard work to become pleased with myself. Those doors were fantastic but such a bitch to hang, and we never did get it quite right. Not solely due to renovational incompetence. Also because they'd gotten warped from leaning against a shed wall for fifty years.) Anyway, yes: did all that, triumphantly bore my reel of green thread home, and look, it doesn't really match does it. Too blue, not enough yellow. Fugh!

It really doesn't match. I'll still use it, because it cost me $3.25, and also there is a strong possibility that even though it doesn't match, it's closer than the other options available. That's the problem with green. It is the hardest colour to match fabric with thread, and as for zips, well you can just forget all about that right now sonny Jim. I am not trying to amuse you with outrageous nonsensical claims here, no I am actually doing my best to convey to you a true if puzzling fact about this sad world we live in. This quirk of green is something I have wondered unhappily about a lot over the decades. Is it because green dye has something extra weird about it? I love green but there are certainly a great many problems with it.

So when it became evident that I had commenced congratulating myself much too soon, three things happened:

• I took this photograph, more in sorrow than in anger, with the heavy emotions leavened slightly by the realisation that at least I now had something to blog about
• I did not sew the skirt - I should have, this pattern piss easy to put together and great to wear. I've sewed it before: 2009 in bronze stretch cotton sateen; 2010 in hot pink stretch cotton sateen and also in lavender and grey camo stretch corduroy; 2011 in black silk satin (I am currently wearing that one at least once a week) 2014 in dark blue denim printed with royal blue Indian block print-style floral motifs
• I lay down on the couch for a few minutes at about 7.30 and when I woke up it was 10:45

It's now 11:29 pm and instead of writing all this down I could probably have got it sewed together, but no and I will have to wear white jeans to work tomorrow. WHITE JEANS

I hope I haven't made such an overly large deal of this unassembled green skirt with black polka dots that I will be crippled with performance anxiety tomorrow evening and unable to sew it together. I know you will not be surprised to hear that there is a great deal yet to be said about it, but please accept my apologies for not having time this evening to convey it to you now. Now I should probably go to bed, although there is not much chance of sleeping well in the aftermath of a three hour accidental nap. Sweet dreams! 

* Had to shout in order to hear self over the pile drivers and jackhammers in operation on the nine hundred fucking building sites in Lygon St Brunswick. Interesting fact**: the population of Brunswick East is going to rise by 85% over the next 15 years because of all the development.

** I don't know if this is true and indeed I rather doubt it. My source is my nemesis on the East Brunswick Kindergarten committee of management, she used to say this sort of thing at every single meeting and while it was hell at the time, at least I now know better than to go on any more volunteer committees or do anything with a community group which involves attending meetings.