Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Not sure which will come first, thermonuclear war or Anzac Day.

This is definitely the worst week of the year and today a lot of bad things have already happened.

I'm just going to do dot points.




  • Crashed my bike and sort of fell off. The whole left side of my body feels like it's been wrenched, especially my thigh and the side of my torso, which feels like it's been wrenched and punched. The back brake locked and the back wheel won't move. I was crossing Princes Bridge, so all I could do was yell FUCK and be overcome by a fantasied image of myself thrusting it above my head and hurling it into the Yarra. Instead of throwing it in the river I dragged it to work, borrowed some tools from the person who fixes everything that breaks, and failed to fix it, so I will have to actually stoop to driving to work tomorrow in order to retrieve broken bike. Sad!
  • Forgot to pack a belt to hold up my too-large pants, which also had a nasty-looking mark on them, so, felt like a tramp and not in the sense of an attractively devil-may-care or rakish female. Sad!
  • Meeting with strangers at 9.30 which I had forgotten about until I saw them banging on the door trying to get in, took an hour, total waste of time! Sad!
  • Then three solid hours of Victorian children in WWII. Sad!
  • Then spent afternoon scrambling about attempting to be ready for tomorrow. Not ready. Wrong!
  • Because of all that, NO COFFEE this morning or at all today.  Not even tea. Sad! I left $4 on my desk in case the person who most often tends to walk down the hill to get coffee should walk past my desk, see the coins, and know what they meant. But she is organising Anzac Day itself, so I think she probably didn't leave her own desk at all today, nor will she leave it for a week. Sad!
  • Therefore, caffeine withdrawal headache. I am now in bed with a strong cup of tea to try to cure the headache. What a remarkably exciting life I lead. Not!
  • Yesterday = public holiday so no therapy. Sad! You know how sometimes people write "I can't even"? well, I really can't even. Don't even think about asking. Don't!
  • Horrible overbookings start to kick in tomorrow, Hooray! Today was merely inhuman, tomorrow is definitely going to be a nightmare of grief and pain. Sad!
  • Nothing for it, I am going to have to talk to a bike shop dude tomorrow. Sad!
  • I have pressed "publish" on this...statement about nine times now, and no publishing occurs. I just want it to go away from me, and become someone else's problem.

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