Palate cleanser

I’m not feeling terribly well today – poor, poor, poor, poor me – it’s the innards – a combination of my cycle, a sleeping pill last night, too much coffee today, too many books on my desk, and a huge work project hurtling towards its deadline like a runaway shopping trolley clattering down Ruckers Hill. Should I steer for the level crossing or for the creek? At least in the creek I could have a nice cool lie down among the reeds and pebbles. Maybe one of the recently rediscovered platypuses might paddle past.  Sounds alright really.

When I don’t feel well, the thought of most kinds of food makes me nauseous, even when I’m hungry, and I am hungry today. In the end I decided on a bowl of sauerkraut (not pictured) and this apple, which I grew myself.

It was not ripe, which I was aware of when I picked it last week, but I just really wanted to bring it in to show it to the ex-orchardist volunteer who comes in on Fridays even though I knew he would be unimpressed in general and would also tell me I’d picked it too early. In the event he was so amused and so hilariously scornful about this ridiculous little underripe apple that it was quite a treat to watch him flail around trying to find something nice to say about it. On the downside, after hearing him hold forth I felt so convinced of its inedibleness that I had to resort to asking the Tarot app on my phone whether I should try to eat it at all.

Obviously, it says NO there, but the elaboration of why the advice is NO sounds so completely awesome that I felt no need to do what I usually do with this thing, which is find out what I really want to do by gauging my reaction to the answer. I.e. if it says NO and I don't like it, then I keep choosing another card until I get one that says YES. I find it very helpful. But this here NO is great in and of itself. A NO to be treasured. 

In the event the general indigestibility of the apple mixed with the medicinal bite of the sauerkraut seems to have been just the ticket and I am feeling a little better now, though perhaps it’s just because I’ve spent fifteen minutes working on this instead of chipping away at the Hanging Rock-sized chunk of granite that I need to demolish by Thursday afternoon.


p.s. I did resolve not to blog about analysis any more. But this afternoon's session has left me choked with sadness. I don't know what to do with it. Can't do anything with it. Just sit.