I missed a deadline last Thursday afternoon, through absolutely no fault of my own I have to say, and got an extension till Wednesday morning (ie tomorrow.) Then there was craft camp, and I took my writing with me knowing I wouldn't do it, and I didn't.
Then I worked on it today at work, but today was like every day at work - one full-time job dealing with the day as it unfolds, plus another full-time job running full steam alongside the first one, in managing the bigger picture. So I got some of it done, but not enough.
Then I got home and there was about four hours of family and household work to do. Now I'm having to finish this thing, and I'm remembering exactly how much I could not deal with this aspect of academic work. The aspect of it's 10 pm the night before, and I just want to sleep, but I still have too much thinking and writing to do, and the worst bit is I would like to do it justice but I only have time to do a very average job. That one.
I also remember that when it got to this sort of point, scrawling down the aaarrrgh and flinging it up on the blog, exactly like a message in a bottle chucked into the ocean, sometimes used to help. Fingers crossed it helps still.