Friday, 13 January 2017

Share something difficult you've been through.

When the alarm went off this morning, I moved my hand which was under the covers. My fingers brushed against something which felt like a twisted sweet wrapper. What has Dorian been eating in bed while I was away, I thought. I held the thing and felt it sleepily. Disgustingly it began to come apart in my fingers. I also noticed that some parts of it felt a bit like plastic but another part felt rounded and furry. I sat up and turned on the light. In my hand was half of a huge dead moth. I recognised it as the same moth that I'd seen on the bedroom wall before I turned off the light the previous evening. Like all overly large insects, it had obviously tried to get into my mouth or up my nose during the night. When I got out of bed I found the rest of the bits of it smeared across the sheets and, utterly revoltingly, in a number of places on my skin including inside my pyjamas.

That was a pretty difficult start to proceedings. Other difficult things I've been through today include helping Lenny build a lego ice-cream van after dinner, I managed about half an hour before I felt the approach of the point when I just can't bear it for a single moment longer - happily today I was able to say to him in a normal tone of voice "let's do the rest tomorrow" and there was no explosion on anyone's part. This does mean that tomorrow I will have to finish building the fucking ice-cream van. In between the moth and the ice-cream van I went through several quite okay things but sharing those is not the theme of today's little fireside chat, which is good I suppose in that I might very well end up boring myself into a coma.

I will however share one terrible yet great thing I have been though recently, this being making myself laugh so hard I was actually sick. I was sitting on the couch last night wondering if there was any awful slogan that you could not buy printed on a t-shirt (line of inquiry suggested by a couple of different things I've seen the youth wearing in Sydney Road recently). So I searched for some, and sure enough, t-shirts are available, but the thing that cracked me up to the point of emesis was this graphic I happened across on the gallery of a user-generated content site of utter, mindless, inane depravity called, of course, Keep Calm-O-Matic.



Words to live by!! It is just the best thing ever. I could look at it for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours. And no doubt I shall.

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