Monday, 8 March 2010

Living the dream



image is from Father Ted naturally


I just had about half a chocolate cake for dinner, doused in a lake of cream. The cake was made from a 75c Coles packet mix and it was good. You can do whatever you like after a two hour dance class, I think. Basil is licking the bowl now.

I always used to really enjoy hearing about and admire all the latest discoveries from the Brendan Nelson mental universe, but Tony Abbott makes Brendan look like a snivelling amateur in the WTF stakes. Who would ever have guessed that Abbott would be quite such a reliable source of the very finest of bizarre overshares? We've all seen him posing in the nude more times than I need to remind you about; he does all manner of daredevil stunts in the desert and on the freeway; he's told us what he thinks about virginity (precious gift, in favour of) specifically that of his daughters; about sex with his wife (also endorses, doesn't get to 'do it' as much as he would like to); it seems that all it takes is for some enterprising journalist to ask him some question any normal politician would shake off in a second and his mouth just falls open and all sorts of misshapen things come tumbling out. Just the other day he was asked on 60 Minutes for his views on homosexuality (good one), and he said "I probably feel a bit threatened, as so many people do... (but) it's a fact of life." Is this not in actual fact the basis of the scene in Bruno where the karate instructor teaches Bruno how to defend himself against a gay man who is attacking with three or four dildos? People criticised that film for picking on improbably soft targets, but if Tony saw it he probably thought it was a documentary and you could get some good tips from it for fending off the threatening homosexuals.

If you were a journalist, how could you possibly resist asking Abbott what he thinks about a whole lot of important issues?

"Hey Tony, what do you think of ladies on their periods?"
"Tony, why are Black people such good dancers and basketball players?"
"What is the difference between Elves and Midgets, Tony?"

10 comments:

BwcaBrownie said...

I wish I had not seen** that 60Minutes ToneFest, but I did, and choked on that 'threatened' remark.
Match it with his daughter's recorded opinion using gay as an insult -
"his teenage daughter called him a 'lame, gay ..." and it is clear that the Abbott home is homophobic.
a pox on em all.

** the sight of LIZard Hayes makes me ill, and all their fatuous interview questions do too.

Kim (frogpondsrock) said...

Thankyou, I needed the smile this morning. and thank @Crazybrave for tweeting this post otherwise I would never have found you, cheers Kim

Brett said...

He's the gaffe that keeps on giving.

Rob said...

Your concluding paragraph gave me the best laugh I've had since listening to The Goon Show!

jac said...

I'm glad you're back.

Helen said...

It's so nice to see Sills Bend again!

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佳芳佳芳 said...

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. ....................................................

Meredith Jones said...

Fabulous.

Ann ODyne said...

Greetings dear Lucy (lost in Twitterland? Bwca tweets occasionally and had better get over there to see how you are.
All Well At Wells Bend I hope.