Wednesday, 30 April 2008

ten bucks

to you dear reader if you can satisfactorily explain why The Age continues to (presumably) pay Jim Schembri to write drivel and continues to publish it.

This: say no to jazz

Check in particular the paragraph where he makes fun of a whole lot of black musicians' names. 'Kilometres Davis'. It's edifying stuff.

24 comments:

David said...

I satisfactorily failed to notice this in the Age, so no thanks to you for drawing it to my attention. This has got to be seriously one of the least funny things written with the intention of being funny, ever, and that's quite an oeuvre.

Amanda said...

Ew.

I suspect you will be keeping you tenner, Laura. Buy Baz something purdy with it.

Peter said...

Oh, god, I hear you. They only have five of those "social commentary" slots a week, and they choose to fill two of them with Schembri's hateful little rants and Deveny's sheltered-workshop, generalised incompetence.

Sigh.

Rob said...

And don't forget Danny Katz. I might have thought he was funny 40 years ago!

Peter said...

I quite like Danny Katz. He's probably the best at making something out of nothing that I've ever read.

Another Outspoken Female said...

Obviously he's sleeping with the editor.

Oh no he's a man, silly me - obvious he's some kind of genius that us less intelligent women are just not clever of us to understand.

Mel said...

I reckon they keep him on purposely to piss people off and get them talking. People like to dislike columnists.

I always feel sad when I read a movie review and go, "Yeah! That's what I thought!" and then read the dreaded initials JS at the end.

Anonymous said...

May all his children grow up to be trumpeters.

- barista

Drewzel said...

Here you go:
"...Jim resigned and took up a deferred position at Monash University. There he maintained an impressive C+ average, graduating in 1983 with a double major in Sociology and English literature."

It was that impressive C+ average!

Knew my Sociology degree would be good for something...off now to send my resume to the Age.

Pavlov's Cat said...

Yes, I think Baz's gift bag of assorted toy mousies is pretty safe.

I don't like jazz either, but what I do know is that at its most serious it's an extremely complex and difficult musical form, which makes this not just ordinary drivel but unforgivable drivel, as from the people who make stupid naff 'jokes' about opera. I'm surprised he didn't just come right out and say 'I don't know anything about music, but I know what I like.'

Zoe said...

I heart you, barista.

Tim said...

What a tedious twit.

Ben.H said...

Thankyou for reminding me why I detest newspaper columns without actually having to read one. Good old Schembri, still showing those stupid nasty bloggers where the real quality writing of wit and substance is at.

Ampersand Duck said...

No, AOF, I think you're right -- he MUST be sleeping with the editor, or at least pleasuring them under the desk at lunchtime.

I've never read such prejudiced drivel. Is it because it's music that he can get away with basing a whole article upon 7 minutes' experience?!

TimT said...

Duke Welllington...

Har har har. Cos Ellington rhymes with Wellington, see, which is why Duke Ellington originally chose that name for use on sta...

Oh.

Actually, that whole passage reminds me of Roger de Vries in The Producers:

ROGER: Mesiuers Bialystock and Bloom, I presume? Pardon the pun.

LEO BLOOM: Pun? What pun?

MAX: Shut up. He thinks he's witty.

librarygirl said...

I was in an english tute with Jim at Monash in 1983 - can't remember now if it was Seven Authors or Romantic and Victorian Literature.
Even more sadly, I can't remember who the Seven Authors were! One - I think - was Doris Lessing.

Mike said...

At first I thought he'd stolen the idea from a column on jazz which Joe Queenan wrote for Spy in the early 90s - one of their short-lived "Admit it: it sucks!" series.

But I don't think so; if he had been lifting Queenan's jokes, the article would have been maybe slightly funny.

mike said...

Oh, yeah, and in answer to your question: I reckon it's because people continue to buy the Fairfax broadsheets for all sorts of reasons which are unrelated to the quality of the writing - habit, crosswords, as a form of class allegiance, etc. (It was all three in my case, and it took me years to shake my SMH habit.)

Amanda said...

Further to my response, I made a jazz playlist to cleanse the brain of Schembri.

innercitygarden said...

Jim Schembri is on the list of Reasons I No Longer Subscribe To The Age.

I don't even look at their website anymore either because I can't find any news on it amongst all the "What's with men and toilet seats?" "Shock: Britney seen being human" drivel.

Amanda said...

Word. The nadir in their (SMH/AGE) ridiculous celebrity trivia front page splashes was perhaps reached this week when the main story/photo was the break up of Billy Zane's engagement. I mean, I liked Memphis Belle too but FFS.

Bernice said...

You're lucky. You should see what the SMH is serving up. Its' Stay in Touch section (hipply SIT these days - they forgot the 'h')is not worthy of lining the kitty litter tray.

Anonymous said...

Finally, someone who's less funny than Tim Blair.

-zoot

Anonymous said...

Someone I know at the Age told me that Jim has told everyone that he is a genius so often that everyone now believes it. Actually, I find him a pretty reliable movie reviewer: if he dislikes a movie, it's worth seeing.

Neil