Wednesday, 15 November 2006

Official Procrastination Meme

It is written: you can't do this meme unless you're procrastinating from something. (See prior memers, and no doubt subsequent ones as well.) Luckily that applies to the entire blogosphere.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I thought that one day I should really clean those cat footprints off the mirror. Then I thought there's no point because they would only be instantly replaced, most likely with greater balletic force and elaboration, because the mirror would be wet from washing.

I think this every morning.

2. Favorite planet?
Saturn, because of the word 'saturnine'.

3. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
No mobile phone. Hate all kinds of phones. Don't ask me to do anything that involves speaking on the telephone, because I will shirk it most cowardly-ly.

4. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?

5. Do you “label” yourself?
No. When I'm introduced to somebody who wants to know what I "do", I have a hard time thinking of something to say. On the other hand, I get irrationally annoyed when people describe me as "sort of an academic" or something similarly expressive of doubt about the legitimacy of my academicism. Dudes I am on the payroll, I have an office with a New Yorker cartoon on the door, a staff card with dorky photo, my stuff is counted in the annual research surveys. IM IN UR UNI EDUCATIN UR KIDZ

6. What does your watch look like?

7. What were you doing at midnight last night?

8. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
It said "When did you stop beating your wife?"

9. What's a word that you say a lot?

10. Last furry thing you touched?
The cardigan I'm wearing has a fair bit of the cat's fur on it.

11. Favorite age you have been so far?
All fine. I had a good childhood, so I'll say six.

12. Your worst enemy?
our current prime minister

13. What is your current desktop picture?

14. What was the last thing you said to someone?
something along the lines of have a good day at work darling and see you tonight.

15. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
I would take the flying for the same reason Kate gave - money would be flung at anyone who could really and truly fly anyhow - plus it would be excellent to be able to fly.

16. Do you like someone?
I do.

17. The last song you listened to?
the radio is on, so it was the romantically passive-aggressive I Will Love You All My Life by Charlie Landsborough.

18. What time of day were you born?
I don't know. Mum?

19. What's your favorite number?
eight, because of the good jokes you can play on people involving puns on "eight" and "ate."

20. Where did you live in 1987?
Wirilda Trail, Warrnambool.

21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Basil is obsessed with this cat that lives over the road, and when I get home in the afternoon he's usually hanging out over there. Can't say I see the attraction.

22. Is anyone jealous of you?
I imagine most people who know Dorian are jealous of me.

23. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Pretty much where I am now. I was reading and missed the whole thing.

24. Do you consider yourself kind?
Not really. I often fail when it's difficult, which is the only time it's particularly commendable.

25. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
If I had to get one I don't think I'd have much choice in the matter. It would presumably say something like "CLASSIFIED WHITE FERTILE EXPIRY 2017" and be in my ear or something.
I quite like the idea of a forehead tattoo that says "snosraP salohciN htiw tuo neeb I"

26. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Something relatively simple and rule-bound / limited? Latin?

27. Would you move for the person you loved?
Of course. What other point is there to life?

28. What's your life motto?
"I may occasionally be slightly overdressed, but I always make up for it by being immensely overeducated." The only way one can be forgiven for having such a wanky motto is if it's a total pose and demonstrably untrue, as it is for me and I think it was for Algy Moncrieff too. Oscar Wilde was right about everything, as Harold Bloom (who is right about nothing else) once observed.

29. What's your favorite town/city?
Melbourne, duh!

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Yesterday. It's a funny thing but people who are interested in forthcoming Jane Austen conferences seem to be reluctant to engage in email correspondence.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
I have done it on cars with simple basic engines, but not our current car. The hard part is unscrewing the filter which has usually been screwed on very tightly. What a strange question.

32. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
Interpreting 'first love' a bit loosely, that his lifelong interest in herb cultivation was finding expression in naturopathy studies in Byron Bay.

33. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Last time I talked to my father he told me a few things about his father's grandparents. That's as far back as I know anything about.

34. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
I can't come up with a meaningful answer. I always dress about the same.

35. Have you been burned by love?
Not in any lasting way. I had a lengthy bout of sooking after being ditched by one extra caddish young man, but that's the best I can do.


cristy said...

I am enjoying this meme. Mind you, I am disapointed that I have already done it as it means that I cannot do it again and must, theoretically, work.

Of course, I have found a loophole by simply reading yours instead.

elsewhere said...

Sigh. By the time I get round to doing this meme, there aren't going to be any interesting answers left.

Cat-prints on the mirror? I have a cat who's want to stare in the mirror, not walk on it.

Kate said...

I find the kitten tea-party image a little bit disturbing.

Tim said...


Oh, I laughed!

Also, that desktop wallpaper is awesome.

Also, I am going to do this meme, even though I'm a bit baffled by the "Do you like someone?" question.

lucy tartan said...

Yes, it's disturbing all right Kate. A Victorian called Walter Potter made dioramas of taxidermied animals posed as human (English) crowd scenes. For this one he must have acquired multiple litters of kittens and coolly murdered them all.

rowan said...

I must be one sick puppy (er, kitten) as that desktop image has totally made my day.

Bernice said...

For difficult to remove oil filters, you can either go to the local auto supply cheapie place & buy an oil filter wrench - BUT MAKE SURE YOU BUY THE BIGGEST ONE. Or get a piece of inner tube, & use it to grip the filter. But if its been put on by your boofy mechanic, proceed to getting a long-handled screwdriver, locate the tip on the rim of the filter where it screws onto the motot, & using a hammer, tap tap tap. The tip should create a handy indentation, allowing you to keep tap tap tapping the filter around. Repeat making a dent & tap it on til you can remove it by hand. As the filters are made of a softish alloy, they're easy to dent etc. (this advise is dispensed with all usual disclaimers).
& as for why this question - can you change your car oil? well it's something every lesbian asks prospective girlfriends. I'd see the queston's presense as an equal opportunity moment. Thank you.

rowan said...

Upon reflection, can I also add to your response to item 5 by saying how much I despise the term 'early career researcher'. This phrase seems to me to be a superb example of university bureaucratese that only serves to continue to cast doubt on the legitimacy of one's academicism.

lucy tartan said...

Funnily enough I was discontentedly thinking about the same term yesterday after I published this post. I'm closer to the end of my academic career than to its beginning, at this point in time.

But it's a bit better than being called a 'young' academic or something like that.

Bernice, your comment is quite simply everything a blog comment ought to be. Thank you.

Adam said...


I agree with Tim about your mischievous wordage on no. 5 - now we need the accompanying picture! I had a dog in a tute once, but never yet a cat. Perhaps some day...

Bernice said...

Oh I thought I may have fallen into the "too much information" bracket with that one. & it has inspired me to offer hope & direction to our sisters struggling with car issues.

lucy tartan said...

these are rabbits but educating is taking place. Good enough.

Adam said...

Grate stuff (note hipster indie spelling of 'grate'). Plus I have often considered coolly murdering my own rabbit. Taxidermy is the obvious next step that I never considered until now.

Frank said...

Your mother can't remember. Nor can I. I do remember that the nurses thought I was some sort of weirdo for wanting to attend your birth. Also, I remember that the car wouldn't start for the journey to the hospital (for the first time since I bought it from my landlords deceased estate), and the shopkeeper wouldn't give me usable change for the phonebox so that I could call the taxi. The other thing I remember was carrying you through the Fitzroy gardens after leaving the hospital, really fearful of tripping on the tree roots erupting through the asphalt paths. That's about it kid.

Ampersand Duck said...

Oh, I like your dad.

kate said...

Thanks Frank, I've been convinced since about June that our car will give up the ghost at the first sign that I'm in labour. Now that I know it has definitely happened to someone else already, I feel (for no particularly logical reason) that it wont happen again.

I've never changed the oil on my car. I asked my Dad to teach me (and he did) but he looked kinda sad at the prospect of me not needing him to do it that I've left him to it since. For the queer record Bernice, I think only one of my ex girlfriends would have done anything to her car other than drive it.

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

I never fully realised that they would be real kittens. I thought they were just weird-arse stuffed things made with cat fur and beads for eyes. excuse me while I run around with my arms in the air in abject horror -

runs around with arms in the air in abject horror for a bit

but apart from that -


ooooh geez. that made my day :)

ps - door bitch says - vioanma. sounds like the name of a fantasy heroine, I must go and tell The Other Andrew. he has the notion of writing a SF novel with character names by the door bitch...