Wednesday, 1 November 2006

But What Is My Question?

Maybe it's just one more instance in the spectacular line of brain failures I'm having this week, but I can't remember ever having received a bit of religious propaganda in the letterbox before today - they come to the door occasionally of course, but this seems to be new. Steath Fundies taking it to the streets. Ominous. Just a minor irritation, actually, compared to the putrid dead possum found in the same area on the weekend, but I don't doubt that this is the beginning of a glorious new era of nuisance conversion attempts.




Well. I thought I'd give it a try anyhow.

Who gave you shadowy figures the right to ignore the 'No Junk Mail' sticker on the letterbox?



What am I thinking about right now?





Should I make nachos for dinner, or enchilladas?



What's six hundred and forty-nine divided by eleven and a half?



Who's the mother of Michael Jackson's most recent spawn?



Who should we ask to be the keynote speaker at the International Jane Austen conference?




If you say "Jesus Christ" again, that means yes. Do you agree to be my slave for the rest of today?



Do you ever give an answer that's not "Jesus Christ"?



Is there any point continuing this conversation? Are you ever going to say anything but "Jesus Christ is your answer?"

16 comments:

Mindy said...

Maybe you should stick it on the mail box with a large sign saying 'In this house this is junk mail'. Then again maybe not.

Ampersand Duck said...

Ooh, we like odd Jesus ephemera.

Mind you, my thoughtful sibling-in-law has ensured that we get handfuls of it every day in our mailbox, all redirected while they're overseas. I might be making a bit of mail art soon...

Feel free to forward anything particularly daggy to BB!

lucy tartan said...

Might just take you up on that. In a box in a cupboard somewhere there are double handfuls of the stuff collected in bible belt towns on different continents.

Bernice Balconey said...

Tis a bit like the Dice Man - ask the question & the answer will be...& appropo of absolutely nothing, you Screenshot of the Week screams out for a captioning comp.

lucy tartan said...

Yes, or a maddeningly singleminded I Ching. Some kind of pagan divination tool, anyway.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

TimT said...

Excellent post. Someone FINALLY picked up the fundies on this.

elsewhere said...

I got 'The End of False Religion is Near' under my door the other day. The main message seemed to be that false religion = churches that ordain gay clergy & marriage. Not a mesage that'll go down well in these parts. Seems that the fundies are jockeying for position.

tigtog said...

Sssilly Tartansssesss. How can sssaving your sssoul be in any way junky?

Seriously, all the mailbox stuffers are told to ignore the "No Junk Mail" stickers because their pieces of paper are genuine savings opportunities, so they can't possibly be junk, so it obviously doesn't apply to them.

Better to put an "Australia Post Mail Only" sticker on your mailbox - neither the commercial types nor the religious types can logically finesse that one (and friends, rellies and neighbours will justifiably assume they are exempt).

The Devil Drink said...

I've got a question.
Whose shout is it?
Time for that water-into-wine schtick, Nazareth boy.

kate said...

The Bloke has taken to returning junk mail to junk mail providers - not necessarily their own. Any company stupid enough to send us a self addressed envelope gets a bunch of takeaway menus and the worship times of the local fundies.

It's not just the leaflets in the mailbox that are the problem - the reams of addressed junk mail urging us to change bank/credit card/phone company are inundating us.

Bernice said...

Why are ur all assuming thems can read?

chuck said...

When I was in grad school, I lived next to a Christian bookstore that had two posters in the window. The first said, "No Matter what the Question, the Answer is Always Jesus." The second said, "What Would Jesus Do?"

I had a punchline for this, but it's lost.

lucy tartan said...

It's lovely as it is without the punchline Chuck.

Ray Davis said...

I experienced my first drive-by proselytization yesterday morning. A car pulled up beside me as I walked to work, and a man leaned out the window to offer me a copy of The Watchtower.

I probably do look in need of guidance from a higher power while walking to work.

Mikhela said...

Some questions for your I Ching Thing:
Why is the world going to hell in a handbasket?
why do people insist on determining the Other and then hating/ bombing/ hacking them out of existence?
Why are women still second class citiens?

etc

lucy tartan said...

etc


is right....

a very long et cetera