Monday, 28 November 2005

happy birthday to me (in advance)

It's my birthday this week. Or so I am reliably informed - birth certificate says so, parents have always said so, but there must always be a tiny jot of suspicion and doubt which never really goes away, hmm?

I will become 33, which of course is the age Jesus was when he "achieved his full potential." Coincidentally, I have been listening to the relevant Pulp song this morning, and, along with thinking how well this whole album has matured, have done Jarvis's prompting and mentally measured the tally to date of my life against what Jesus managed to get done in his. Although there is admittedly an element of stupidity in drawing such a comparison - chalk / cheese, apples / oranges etc - it reminds me a bit of the troll at The Valve who is always indiscriminately demanding people "cough up their GRE scores" (like, what ARE those, dude?) - there's no question that Jesus did better than I am doing. Not solely in the Messianic field either. Viewers of The Passion will recall that Jesus invented the standard height dinner table as we know and value it today. I don't know who invented the standard height chair: Wikipedia doesn't say, though it does seem that chairs as we know them were around well before Jesus's lifetime. I have no idea whether Jesus made chairs as well as tables. Somehow I think not. It's clear from the evidence, as amassed by Mel Gibson, that his friends and family were slightly baffled by the tall table. I suspect they quickly got used to the idea, however, and used their old, outmoded, short tables to sit on around the new tall one. Anyway, I haven't invented anything yet...only a few short hours left in which to do so!


Here is a picture I took in High St, Armadale yesterday. Is it not utterly typical of High St, Armadale? VOTE NOW.

25 comments:

Kate said...

Don't put pictures like that on the public Internets! You'll give my dog ideas about the correct method of canine transportation.

Lucy said...

happy birthday! :)
You should submit that photo to the dog blog http://www.automatedredemption.com/flavorcountry/dogblog/

Miriam Jones said...

Bon Anniversaire, as we Canadians say. Well, some of us.

Adam 1.0 said...

This Is Hardcore is a better album than Different Class. I prefer Common People and Sorted For E's And Whizz as songs but the rest of the album, bar Disco 2000, is a bit wobbly.

Lucy Tartan said...

I agree with everything everyone has said so far, particularly Kate, Lucy, Miriam, and Adam. Especially Adam. Although I like something about Bar Italia - not sure what it is, though. Ah how nice, a Pulp fan! How do you rate His n' Hers, Adam?

Kate said...

Also, happy birthday to you for this week.

jacqueline said...

Happy birthday! Your photo is tres Armadale. You know what would make it better? If one of those dogs had a deep, sunbed tan.

cfsmtb said...

Happy birthday, you young (er) whippersnapper.

Phantom Scribbler said...

Happy birthday to you!

Ampersand Duck said...

You're the first female I've encountered to feel the Jesus mid-life crisis! Many of my male friends have been through it. I'm waiting for the Elizabeth Jolley/Rosalie Gasgoigne crisis (got to 60, haven't published my first novel/had my first exhibition yet...)

Happy Birthday!
quqygd!
(something about god, or could it be 'ultra-cool dog'?)

Ampersand Duck said...

...Gascoigne...

jo(e) said...

Happy Birthday!

Elsewhere said...

I don't know what else to say but happy birthday!

33 is a kind of weird age, I think when you start to feel that you're getting well and truly into your 30s. It might also be the strange magnetism of those double '3's!

boynton said...

Happy Birtday Laura.

LP should podcast some 33s in your honour.

Zoe said...

Birthday hugs!

elaine said...

happy birthday. Sorry I'm late!

I hope baz bought you a suitable present.

Arty said...

It won't be long until 33+1/3 year-olds no longer appreciate the significance.

boynton said...

Oh yes, Dorian, I forgot about that crucial one third. That means you can extend the birthday LP fest for 4 months...

Lucy Tartan said...

Thank you all very much. So kind. I'm extra proud to be the recipient of a Zoe Hug, usually (?) only doled out to whimpering RWDBs...

You're not late Elaine, though having been in India's a decent excuse if you had been. It's actually Birthday Week here, so maybe you're early.

May as well begin enumerating gifts, while I'm here:

Dorian's parents: lovely turquoise earrings which I'm wearing now

Ampersand Duck: Sullen hillbilly holding Jesus made of balloons

Hairdresser who cut my hair badly one time only two years ago: voucher for complimentary glass of champagne with any colour and/or set of acrylic nails

Baz: nothing

this is shaping up to be the Best Birthday Week Ever!!!
Pretty cool so far!

Helen said...

Happy birthday Laura!!

cfsmtb said...

It won't be long until 33+1/3 year-olds no longer appreciate the significance.

I attempted that one several years back. Still had to explain to the oldies.

Anonymous said...

33 is when women reach their prime. That is not a bullshit statement.

Happy birthday week.

- barista

Cozalcoatl said...

Happy Birthday!!
I myself will also be as old as Jezbus tomorrow (3rd Dec)
Still early 30's i say

Scrivener said...

I would absolutely swear I left a happppppy birthday wish here, but now it's not here and I'm wondering if I'm just imagining things.

Sorry I'm late. Happy Birthday!!!

chuck said...

I'm really late, but happy belated birthday!