Thursday, 2 June 2005

Don't Lick!

An extra special and warm and big Hello to the person who came to my blog searching for pelorian kitten photos. Welcome, friend, whoever you are: I know what you're going through. Ooh yeah. I know exactly what it's like, that irresistible need to see funny pictures of tiny Japanese kittens, dressed up in ridiculous Japanese costumes, doing inexplicable things, accompanied by mysterious slogans like "don't lick me!" and "pretty baby cat, go dancing!"

Alas, I can't actually supply you with any peloria right now, but as one who's been there and lived to tell the tale, I have some advice which may be of service to you, in your pelorian quest.

1. Don't bother looking anywhere but here: Brad Yung's is the best Pelorian cat site on the whole English-speaking intermanets. Plus, my cat is on there, if you scroll down far enough...

2. The most economical and efficient way to feed one's Peloria appetite is to find somebody selling the 1983 Topps bubblegum set of 55 swap cards. Here's a set for sale: damn cheap too, considering the hours and hours and of helpless, doubled-over laughing which lie in wait for the fortunate purchaser.

3. Do not expect your friends and family to understand.

4. Also, THE CATS ARE NOT DEAD. Never let anyone get away with trying to tell you they are. If you've ever seen a dead cat, you'll know it would be far, far more difficult to make a dead or drugged kitty look alive than to patiently wait for the very much alive kitty to hold still while its picture is taken.

Come back any time, o seeker of Peloria!

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